4 Stars
This is an emotionally complex novel which examines the messy truth of feelings and relationships.
When the novel begins, Wolo Lifafa has been a widower for three years. His wife Yoma, pregnant with twins at the time, was struck by a car while she was out jogging. Victoria Snow, the woman driving that car, contacts Wolo and asks to meet him. Despite his family’s advice, he agrees to do so because he wants details of the accident which he is convinced were covered up. The first meeting does not go well, but reluctantly Wolo agrees to further contact. He comes to wonder whether he and Victoria are destined “to walk together out of their shared darkness.”
Chapters alternate between the present, where Wolo struggles with grief and wonders whether he can forgive Victoria for her role in the deaths of his wife and unborn children, and the past which gives the backstory of Wolo and Yoma’s relationship and the complexities of his extended family in Cameroon and the US.
The book examines love in its various forms. Wolo thinks of Yoma as the love of his life and doesn’t believe that he can ever love anyone in the same way again. But it’s not just romantic or marital love that is explored. There’s parental love and filial love and familial love as well. There’s love between two men, but that love can never be spoken of. A message that resonated with me is spoken by Yolo’s second mother: “’a person can love you while struggling to deal with the pain you’ve caused them.’”
Grief is another topic. Wolo acknowledges that people mourn differently, though, as his father-in-law tells him, “’some people want your grief to look the way they think it should look, the way they would do it if they were you.’” Wolo’s “journey through grief has been a constant battle to accept, an inability to find a way forward, ignorant of how to move out of this terrible darkness.”
And forgiveness is the third concept explored. Initially Wolo has no intention of forgiving Victoria but later hopes to find a way to forgiveness. He sees examples of others forgiving; Yoma’s father and Nathaniel Lambi are two such people. Wolo realizes that he and his family caused pain and sought forgiveness at one time; his Facebook message to Mary indicates he is still seeking forgiveness. Wolo’s friend Ben tells him that forgiveness is not easy: “’It’s a very hard thing to do. It requires the kind of strength most of us don’t have, that’s why we don’t even try it.’”
I had heard about the stages of grief but never about the five stages of forgiveness. It’s the first stage, “accepting that all who commit wrongs are humans first, offenders second,” that is emphasized in the novel. It’s because Wolo realizes that he too has been an offender wanting forgiveness that he is able to consider forgiving someone else. And Victoria has difficulty forgiving herself so she’s stuck at the second stage: “recognizing that all humans are worthy of forgiveness.”
There are so many characters I learned to like. Yoma’s father, Tata Munyuenge, stands out because of his wisdom. Even Yoma is fully developed; through the flashbacks, we learn about her intelligence, fierceness, ambition, and independent nature. Keka, Wolo’s mother, is problematic for me. Above all, she holds on to her anger against Victoria. At times she strikes me as hypocritical since she seems to have no difficulty forgiving Osi’s behaviour. And it’s interesting that she accuses Victoria of manipulating Wolo while forgetting her own manipulations of her husband to get what she wanted. Her last email to Wolo redeems her somewhat, but it’s interesting that she doesn’t mention Victoria in the last sentence. Of course there is no doubt she loves her son, and there are many different ways to love.
I loved how the novel exposes readers to a culture with which they might not be familiar. I knew nothing about Cameroonian culture so thoroughly enjoyed the glimpses given. The importance of family and family reputation is certainly emphasized.
This novel inspires self-reflection: were you in Wolo’s situation, how would you behave? Would you be like Wolo or like Keka? Personally, I will try to remember that we are all flawed and deserving of love and forgiveness.
Note: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley.
No comments:
Post a Comment