4 Stars
This is a very impressive debut novel.
Teenaged Aurora Taylor arrives with her mother Laine in Monroe, Indiana, for the funeral of Jay, Gran’s husband. Aurora assumes it’ll be a short stay since her mother hates Monroe, has a contentious relationship with Gran, and has a history of never staying long in one place. In her 15 years Aurora has lived in 18 towns since her mother tends to make poor relationship choices and then leaves town when things become difficult; Aurora describes Laine as “a mother who preferred to leave when things got hard,” teaching her daughter to “avoid the problem, and hope it fixes itself.”
The stay in Munroe, however, continues longer than expected because Laine becomes involved with a married man with a family. As a result, Aurora has time to make a friend, get a part-time job, and experience first love. Though she finds a measure of happiness, she believes it’ll be only a matter of time before her mother packs them up once again and Aurora will have to leave everything behind.
Aurora is the narrator and the character about whom the reader will come to care. In many ways she is much more mature than her mother. She’s the sensible one who is surprisingly resilient, although she is also vulnerable. Her nomadic life has left her longing for stability and belonging; she wants a home. She knows her mother and understands how her family is dysfunctional and how they are viewed by people in the small town. Her greatest fear is “becoming my mother’s daughter” because she believes “In the end, we become our parents.” She even dislikes the fact that people keep telling her she looks so much like her mother. Certainly she feels guilty by association, knowing people will judge her by her mother’s actions.
The author captures so well the complex emotions of adolescence. There’s Aurora’s insecurity and need to be accepted by others and to have the normal experiences of girls her age. But there’s always her mother overshadowing her life. Aurora is sensitive and kind-hearted: “I did feel guilty about the mess my mother had made and the people it affected. I had a weak stomach when it came to hurting others.” She acknowledges her mixed feelings about her mother, wondering “how you could love someone so much but still want them to leave”: “’I don’t hate her . . . I hate what she’s done, but I don’t hate her. She’s my mom.’”
Laine is a character I found difficult to like or sympathize with. I understand the trauma in her past: “’How about a twelve-year-old spending weekends alone while Mom’s on a bender? Or a sixteen-year-old getting fucked in the back of the bar while Mom sleeps off the night?’” As a result, I would expect her to want to give her daughter a better life than she had. Yet she is so self-centred and selfish that she never really considers her daughter’s needs and desires. Aurora summarizes Laine’s life: “Mom kept busy – work, men, moves – and I was just along for the ride.” Aurora knows her mother “would always choose herself” so she can only “pretend she asked the right questions, pretend she cared about where I was, who I was with, what we did.”
In many ways Laine is much more immature that Aurora who considers the feelings of others, whereas Laine is impulsive and reckless, constantly choosing destructive relationships. In the novel, Aurora grows in understanding herself and Gran acknowledges her mistakes, fights her dependence on alcohol, and prioritizes her granddaughter’s happiness, but Laine remains as emotionally unstable as ever. Nonetheless I did appreciate Gran’s comment that “’Our world is easier on men’” which does emphasize that it is women like Laine who suffer more for poor decisions.
The novel is slow paced but given its focus, that pace is appropriate. The reader is able to fully understand the complexities of characters and their relationships. We can also feel Aurora’s disappointment, hurt, embarrassment, and anger – all emotions her mother’s behaviour elicits. Despite the lack of action, tension does build. How will Laine’s latest relationship end and what will the consequences be for so many others? In this regard, however, I would have preferred there not be a prologue because it gives too much away about what will happen at the end of August.
This is a very poignant book which will not leave the reader unaffected. We delight in Aurora’s newfound happiness but also share her anxiety as she contemplates the ending of that happiness because of her mother’s choices. This is a book I recommend to both adult and young adult readers.
Note: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley.
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