3.5 Stars
This novel follows the lives of two friends, Mara and Jen, after the sudden, violent death of a third friend, Claire. Now in their forties, the three were friends since college.
The first half, narrated by Mara, spans the year immediately after Claire’s death. The focus is on understanding her death and trying to uncover if Jase, Claire’s former boyfriend, may have somehow been connected to the tragedy. The second half, narrated by Jen, is a year later. Grief over Claire’s death is no longer the focus. Instead, we see Mara’s new relationship, Jen’s new job, and Jen’s wrestling with her erratic behaviour immediately after Claire’s death. Both Mara and Jen also have to deal with family issues which require them to support their mothers.
This is very much a dialogue-driven novel so it reads fairly quickly. The conversations are very realistic as topics both serious and frivolous are discussed. There are both heart-to-heart conversations and easy banter. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t find it a compelling read. It didn’t keep my interest so I kept putting it down and then I wasn’t excited to pick it up again.
In many ways the novel feels directionless. Obviously, one of its main themes is grief. The two women have to come to terms with the loss of a dear friend who is taken away suddenly and violently. They struggle with moving on with their lives when someone who was such an integral part of their lives is no longer there. Of course grief feels directionless since it’s such a disorienting state.
The book can also be described as a portrait of mid-life friendships. Mara and Jen remain close and support each other so both can survive a devastating loss. Gradually new relationships are formed with other people, some of whom had connections with Claire (Pavan, Caleb) and others who never knew her (Eli, Josh, Julia St. Alban). These new relationships also become a support system.
Though Mara and Jen do not want children, mothers and their relationships with children are also highlighted. We see June, Claire’s mother, dealing with the death of her only daughter. There’s Emmie whose life is shaped by caring for her neuro-divergent son who requires a lot of care. There’s Josh’s mother Sarah who disappeared. Just as Mara and Jen’s friendship withstands tragedy, their ties to their families, though sometimes not strong, remain unbroken. Fern, Mara’s mother, has early signs of dementia and needs her daughter’s help. Lynn, Jen’s mother, comes to rely on her daughter too but for different reasons.
The message that I will remember is a teenager’s comments about life: “’Life is a gift from death . . . Or, like, a loan. Nature is like, Yeah, you’re gonna die. But first, you get to have this! This totally awesome thing. You might not even know how awesome it is, at first. But open your eyes. Look what you get! The universe!’” But we need to stay engaged; if we don’t live in reality, we don’t really live: “’If you stay sleeping, all you’ll ever have is a dream. Maybe you’ll get to keep the dream. For a bit. But meanwhile you’re losing the best parts of reality. Just letting them fade away.’”
This book did not resonate with me, but I’m certain it will for other readers.
Note: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley.



















