I do not
often read memoirs but this one kept being mentioned by people as a must-read.
Tara is the
youngest child of fundamentalist Mormon survivalists in Idaho. Her father, whose word was law in the
household, mistrusted formal education and western medicine and stockpiled
food, fuel and guns in preparation for the Days of Abomination. Her mother, a homeopathic healer and midwife,
did little to ameliorate her husband’s tyrannical rule and the sadistic attacks
of an elder child; in her subservience to her husband, she was complicit in
what happened in the home.
Though she
never attended school, Tara managed to get herself into Brigham Young
University. As she studied to overcome
her very limited knowledge of the outside world, she struggled to form her
identity outside the shadow of her family and upbringing. Eventually she achieved extraordinary
academic success at some of the world’s most prestigious educational
institutions, but her desire to break free from her family’s limiting
influences had a high cost.
Parts of
the book are harrowing. Gene Westover
had an almost total disregard for his family’s safety. As the children worked in his scrapyard, they
suffered terrible accidents which could have been prevented and then were
denied proper medical treatment because Gene believed that “Everything that
happened to our family, every injury, every near death, was because we had been
chosen, we were special. God had
orchestrated all of it so we could denounce the Medical Establishment and
testify of His power.” Tara was subjected
to physical attacks and emotional abuse by an older brother yet she was accused
of lying about what happened. But it is
the mother’s betrayal of her daughter that struck me as most horrific.
I found
Tara’s struggle to create her own identity apart from her family to be very
interesting. As a child, she learned
that “My future was motherhood” so she came to think of her dreams for
something more as aberrations: “my
yearning was unnatural.” Eventually, she
admitted that “My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice
might be as strong as theirs.” She then sought
to have positive liberty, “to take control of one’s mind; to be liberated from
irrational fears and beliefs, from addictions, superstitions.” In the end, she describes herself as a
changed person, a new self: “You could
call this selfhood many things.
Transformation.
Metamorphosis. Falsity. Betrayal.
I call it an education.”
I was
amazed at Tara’s willingness to forgive her parents and some of her siblings. Were I faced with such betrayals, I’d be much
less understanding. Her love for her
family is obvious and she seems to still hope for reconciliation with the
estranged family members.
An aspect
that troubled me is the father’s seeming willingness to adapt beliefs to suit
his purposes. Though he continued to
rail against education and medicine, he changed some of his other views. He didn’t want a phone but allowed one when his
wife needed one for her midwifery duties.
He didn’t object when she started experimenting with other methods of
healing, like “energy work” which involved “diagrams of chakras and pressure
points.” These didn’t clash with Mormon
doctrine?
I
understand why this book has such positive reviews. It tells an inspiring story of a remarkable
young woman. And it offers hope to
others who find themselves in restricted situations.
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